Wish Us Luck, Full-Length Version

Zeph has a dentist appointment at noon today. He doesn't want to go.

Why?

"Mommy, I just want to stay at home. I don't want to have dents put into me."

Excuse me while I attempt to explain the vagaries of the English language at a level appropriate for 2-year-olds....

10:30 Update: Zeph has agreed to come to the dentist, "but Zeph is going to keep his mouth shut tight."

8:30 PM Update: Zeph survived the dentist. It took three toys and two toothbrushes and much cajoling, but he did in fact open his mouth for a few seconds at a time. Thankfully we don't have to return for another six months.

Conversation on the way home:

Zeph: "Why do we go to the dentist?"

Me: "To get our teeth cleaned."

Zeph: "Why do our teeth get dirty?"

Me: "Because food and stuff gets stuck in there over time."

Zeph: "Why do we eat food?"

Me: "Because we get hungry."

Zeph: "Why do we get hungry?"

Me: "Hey, Zeph, why do you ask 'why' so much?"

Zeph: "Because I tend to ask 'why' a lot. Why do I ask 'why'?"

Me (head spinning, convinced I will never survive the "why" phase): "I have no idea, son. That's why I asked you in the first place. Could you ask a question that doesn't start with 'why'?"

Zeph: "No. Why are we stopped?"

Me: "Because we're at a red light."

Zeph: "Why can't we go through the red light?"

Me: "Because there's a rule that says we have to stop at red lights."

Zeph: "Why is there that rule?"

Me (giving up completely): "I have no idea, honey."

Zeph: "Well, I wanna see the rule. Where is it?"

My head hurts.