Saturn Corporation - Pestier Than Mosquitos in July

I just had the brake calipers replaced in my car, the last of the repairs that about brought me to the brink of apoplexy last month. So now I've put roughly $1200 into my not-even-three-year-old car in the last month. Guess what's in my mailbox now? A letter from the Saturn service department listing things I need to do to insure the health and welfare of my car. My son knows how to handle these things, though:

Me: "It says we need to deodorize the air conditioning for only $299. What say you, Zeph?"

Zeph: "I say I think not. NOOOOO!"

Me: "I agree. What about the complete detailing and paint finishing to protect the beauty and luster of the car's paint? It's only $399."

Zeph: "NOOO! NOOOO! I think 100 pounds-degrees is good."

(Zeph has his temperatures and British currency mixed up, evidently.)

Me: "Well, then. Should we have the upholstery cleaned, deodorized, and sanitized? $249?"

Zeph: "I said NOOOO! NOOOOO WAAAAAYYYYY!"

So there you have it, Saturn marketing geniuses. Even my toddler knows junk advertising when he sees it. I will give you something, though. Your flyers, when properly folded, make excellent origami tunnels for Matchbox cars.