In Which My Head Explodes - or - Never Mix Home Improvement and Toddlers

Attention: Much nonsensical rambling and out-and-out whining ahead...

It's been a long couple of weeks here at the Menagerie House. We've had various ups and downs, some personal stuff, some family stuff, and some stuff that comes with the territory of toddlerhood. The personal stuff I'm not ready to write about, the family stuff is really not mine to tell, and the toddler stuff, well, y'all probably all been there and done that.

Essentially, though, my nerves have had it. The problem with maternal crankiness is that mornings start out tough, and then the days go downhill from there. Mr. Do By Self has been alternating appearances with Mr. I Don't Wanna Do Anything Mommy Suggests. That would be all well and good, but about the time I get good and mad, Mr. I Love Mommy appears, and then it's like whiplash. I just wish one of these personas would stay around for more than a few minutes at a time because it is just all kinds of confusing when I never know with whom I'm dealing from one moment to the next.

And, too, I think Baby Duck is weaning himself. He's hardly nursed at all during the day these last couple of weeks. Although in some ways it's a relief, it's also sad. I'm all for child-led weaning, but I never imagined it would happen this suddenly, and I'm a bit at a loss. I'm having to learn all sorts of maneuvers for calming an upset child, or getting a tired child to sleep without nursing. I'm achy, and I miss all the sit-down-and-cuddle time that nursing entailed. Furthermore, I'm losing all those nice calming nursing hormones, and on several occasions I've been really tempted to throw myself on the floor alongside my son and have a nice healthy temper tantrum of my own. It would just feel so good, but since I'm supposed to be the adult here, that's clearly not acceptable.

I was about to lose it completely yesterday, but then Suzanne, Sean, and Allie dropped by for a lovely playdate, and a good time was had by all. (Well, mostly. There was this issue of our dog terrifying Sean and Allie whenever he got too close to them. He really is a sweet dog. It's just that he's both huge and loud.) I'm sorry, kids, next time I'll see if I can keep Casey a bit further away from you. And thank you so much for entertaining my son yesterday!

And so, we arrive at the topic of my head exploding. You'd think I'd find something calming to do this weekend, right? Wrong. We picked this weekend to paint the living room. So, we have much of the downstairs essentially unuseable, and most definitely not toddler-proofed. Today has been a constant stream of diversions to keep Liam from "helping." So we have Kevin painting, and me trying to occupy Liam, preferably outside given the state of the downstairs, and it's in the 80's and humid. I hate hot weather. Liam hates hot weather.

The highlight of the day was a trip to Superfresh to buy milk. Just to demonstrate the depths of despair in the Menagerie House today, I will share a bit of conversation Liam and I had upon leaving the grocery store:

Me: "Do you want me to pick you up or hold your hand in the parking lot?"

Liam: "NO! NO! NO GO HOME!!!"

Me: "Why don't you want to go home?

Liam: "NO GO HOME! Stay at the grocery store!"

Me: "I got that, but why do you want to stay at the grocery store?"

Liam: "I was just having a fun time at the grocery store. It's nice and cool. And the walls are dry."

Me: "You know, son, I agree with you. Completely."

We did make it home, eventually. Kevin suggested I paint while he amused Liam, which lasted ten minutes until I fell off the step stool, planted a foot in the roller tray, and managed to track yellow paint over the hardwood floor.

Oh, and the best part? Tomorrow we get to apply the second coat of paint and touch up the baseboards. It could be loads of fun, I'm telling you. Or not.

If you've made it this far (Hi Mom!), I thank you. If not, I completely understand. And please forgive the lack of structure and proofreading. I'd try this whining post again if I thought I could make it more readable, or at least funny. However, with my head in pieces, it's a bit tricky to formulate a lucid thought. However, tomorrow is another day, and with any luck things will improve.