Little Kids Are So Literal

Tonight I heard Kevin and Liam in the living room. We've had issues recently trying to instill the idea of privacy and private activities in our son; his hand are often in his pants because, well, he's a little boy. (Why did no one inform me that this is one of the downsides of potty training?)

Kevin: "Hands out of your pants."

Liam: "Why?"

Kevin: "Hands out of your pants!"

Liam: "But I just like my hands IN my pants."

Kevin gave up and retreated upstairs. Liam popped into the kitchen with me, hands still you-know-where, and repeated a phrase that someone at school taught him. (This particular phrase is neither vulgar nor rude, but is very, very annoying should someone repeat it over and over while, say, one is fighting morning rush traffic on Route 1. Yes, I ended up begging him to be quiet or at least say something else.) And just to be sure I was paying attention, he said it about three more times.

Me: "Dude, are you just trying to annoy Daddy and me?"

Liam (absolutely horrified): "Oh, no! Oh, dear! Actually, I was just trying to annoy Daddy!"

Me (trying hard to look stern): "Well, thanks for the clarification."

Liam: "You're welcome, Mommy."

And with that, he stomped off to find his father.

The silence, she was golden.