Monday, November 27, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Comments From the Thanksgiving Day Parades
1. About Pink Panther - "Mommy, he's not a panther. Panthers aren't allowed to be pink. He must really be a pink leopard."
2. About Dora - a close-up shot of the rain cascading off the balloon - "Wow, she can really pee!"
3. About SpongeBob - "Mommy, hold me. He's scary. I don't think SpongeBob should be allowed outside."
4. About Big Bird - "Hey! You won't believe your eyes - Yellow Bird can really fly!
5. About Humpty Dumpty - "Oh, no! He's too high! He's gonna have a great fall! Oh, NO!"
And with that we turned off the parades and went to dinner, but several times that afternoon Liam asked us, "Is Humpty-Dumpty OK? Is he OK???"
Oh, the suspense of reality TV...
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Charley the Camel and the Very Bad, Horrible Afternoon
1. Eating frozen corn. Still frozen, from a
2. His black dog
3. Baking cookies.
Charley was having lovely afternoon baking cookies with his Mommy Camel. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spied his bestest friend, The Great Doggler, stealing corn from the Watering Hole.
"NO!!!!" cried Charley.
He leapt to rescue his prized corn, and in doing so fell off his stepstool, banging his head hard on the kitchen counter. Poor Charley! Mommy Camel picked him up, ran her sticky cookie-dough-covered hands through his hair, and put a cold pack on his head. Charley felt better, for a moment, but then realized that Mommy Camel had messed up his hair and left it very, very sticky. He was inconsolable.
As he sat in Mommy Camel's lap and considered the inherent unfairness of life, Charley realized there was only one activity in the whole wide that would restore his happiness.
"Charley wants to draw on himself. With red marker. Because camels like red. And because Daddy Camel will give me a bath and wash my hair."
Mommy Camel considered this strange request. (And tried to decide if the lump on Charley's head was serious enough to alter his mental status.) Finally, because Mommy Camel
And (despite Mommy Camel's questionable parenting decisions) they all lived happily ever after.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Yet More Bits and Pieces
2. We had a great playdate this week with Suzanne, Sean, and Allie. Liam had a great time, although it was hard to tell it at the time as the museum we visited was a bit too loud for him and he kept wanting to return to the relative quiet of the toddler room. Sean and Allie were less impressed with the toddler room, but they are great sports and consented to spend a substantial amount of time in there anyway. Thanks for the fun time, guys!
3. Out driving tonight I saw what was either an otter or a beaver swimming in a local lake. I think it was too big to be a beaver, altough Kevin swears otherwise. Whatever it was, it was clearly an aquatic mammal of some type, which is very cool.
4. At the mall tonight all three of us were checking out Santa's quarters, when who should walk by but the jolly elf himself. Which petrified Liam, who has issues with people in costumes (hence the lack of Halloween postings here). He's willing to divulge his Christmas wishlist to the Santa picture in a Christmas book, but the "real" Santa at the mall causes him to beg to return home, poor kid.
5. What is on his wishlist? "A fire station for my fire engines. And helmets for the firefighters. And some firefighters for the station. And some ladders for the fire engines. And hoses for the pumper trucks. And some toy kitty cats for the firemen to rescue. Oh, and somezoomy mice. Yup. That's all."
And yup, that's all I've got. Nighty-night, y'all!
Monday, November 13, 2006
Let us suppose that a mother changed her 2-year-old son's diaper. Let us further suppose that she then proceeded to the kitchen, five feet away from the child, to wash her hands. Now let us assume that the child had access to a marker. Would it be possible for the child to cover himself with body art in the time that it took the mother to wash her hands?
Since the child would have to work at essentially light speed for such an event to happen, one might reasonably conclude that there would not be enough time for the child to draw over large portions of his body. Not in the time needed for a quick hand-washing. Correct?
One would not expect the mother to be greeted by anything resembling the picture below, now would one?
Good. I'm so relieved to know that I am simply imagining all similar events from this afternoon.
"But I drawed on myself 'cause orange is the best color!"
Thank goodness Daddy is in charge of bathtime.
Hey in There!!
P. B. Bear: "Mommy, kindly stop moving your tummy. It's bothering me."
Me: "I can't, honey. That's your baby brother moving around."
P. B. Bear (talking to my belly button): "Hey, baby brother in there? You really, very need to settle down. I'm trying to sleep. Kindly thank you!"
And then he rolled over and fell asleep.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Why Does It Rain?
Me: "Well, it rains because the plants and animals need water."
Liam: "I think the basement needs water, too."
Me: "Why does the basement need water?"
Liam: "I just don't know, but I hear the Rain Fairies sprinkling rain in the basement."
Let's hope not, son. Let's hope not.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Enter the Sibling Rivalry
Me: "Well, milk is what makes babies and little boys and girls grow big."
P. B. Bear: "I love mommy milk. But sometimes I only like soy milk, because I'm big."
Me: "Do you think your little brother will like mommy milk when he comes?"
P. B. Bear: "Yes, I think so. But! But??? Eh?"
Me: "But what, sweetie?"
P. B. Bear: "But I think my brother will have to find his own mommy for milk."
Me: "Hhhmmm. Do you think I could be his mommy?"
P. B. Bear (looking at me like I need a psych referral): "Oh, no, mommy. You are only MY mommy."
And the little brother isn't even here yet...
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
How Do You Fancy the Name of "Bandit" for a Little Boy?
Me: "Well, he has a lot of growing to do first, so it won't be for a while yet."
P.B. Bear: "How big is my baby brother?"
Me: "Um, well, he's about the size of Miss Stormy or Miss Penny right now."
P.B. Bear: "Oh, Mommy, hurray! I'm so 'cited! My baby brother is a ferret!!!!"